Start here: who is the claim about?
The veteran, the spouse of a living veteran, or a surviving spouse. Everything downstream (which forms, which evidence, which programme) follows from this one answer.
The full guide
The longer version: every route, in order, with the questions that decide which one you are on.
Here is the whole path in summary. The free call with Martin fills in the parts that depend on your family: service history, who needs care, and what is already happening at home.
The veteran, the spouse of a living veteran, or a surviving spouse. Everything downstream (which forms, which evidence, which programme) follows from this one answer.
Not the diagnosis: the day. Who helps with the shower, who counts out the tablets, who has stopped sleeping. This is what an Aid & Attendance claim is actually built from.
Dates of service, discharge, marriage, and, where it applies, the death certificate. Missing papers are recoverable; Martin will tell you how, rather than sending you away to find them alone.
Pension routes look at income and assets. This is where families most often assume they earn too much, and most often turn out to be wrong, because unreimbursed medical and care costs come into the calculation.
Aid & Attendance, Homemaker and Home Health Aide, Home-Based Primary Care, Respite, Veteran-Directed Care, VA Skilled Home Health Care. Some combine. Some rule each other out.
Several months is normal. Benefits are commonly paid back to the filing date. Care in the gap is a separate conversation, and an honest one.
Tell Martin roughly where things stand and he will come back to you. There is no charge and no obligation.